Love and Death

One thing that I've come to learn over the past 15 years is that who I used to think that I was is no longer completely true...and who I currently think that I am will likely change in the future, too. Let me try to explain without boring you with the metaphysics of my tiny pea brain. Over the past couple of decades, I have done things that I said I would "never" do, and I failed to do things that I always thought that I would or should.
That brings me now to the topic of Love and Death. Throughout my adult life, I have had very little fear or worry about death. Like I do with so many other aspects of my life, I held death as just an inevitable truth. "I don't have any control over it....why worry about it..." kind of attitude. Well, recently I had noticed a chink in my "why worry about it" armor. And, today as I was driving home from work, I passed a cemetery and experienced a physical and emotional response to seeing a grave being dug. My brain shouted out to the cemetery something like "Stay away from us!"
My response surprised me. But it didn't take me long to figure it out. I have never loved anything or anyone the way that I love my family. I want to protect them from everything. I don't want them to experience the pain of seeing someone they love die, and I don't want any of them to die (obviously). I know that this isn't realistic, but I'm not choosing to feel this way or think this way. This change in my philosophy wasn't by choice. I hate it; it's foreign to me; and I don't know what to do with these feelings of vulnerability.
So, I looked up death in the Bible, and the first thing I came to was 1 Cor 15:55 "Where Oh Death is thy victory; Oh where Death is thy sting?" That wasn't comforting to me......
But, then I read the entire chapter..... Paul discusses the resurrection of Christ. There are several passages that struck me, but the one that I read over and over...."And as for us, why do we endanger ourselves every hour? I die every day—I mean that, brothers—just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus for merely human reasons, what have I gained? If the dead are not raised, "Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die." Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame."
I was shamed somewhat by this, but more than that I was put back on point. "I die every day as surely as I glory over you.." What I read throughout chapter 15 of 1 Corinthians was "Yeah, this life is painful and sorrowful...there is no shelter from the deaths of this life. Don't wilt because of it. Make sure the ones you love know not just the harsh realities of this life, but also know the Message of our Resurrected Savior. Don't focus on sheltering; focus on empowering them to face this world's pain through the power of the Truth."

Stumbling Block

From the time we are infants, we have goals set for us and by us. We are judged, by those around us, according to how well we achieve these goals. It is usually thought that the one who achieves the most is the most successful. Is it really prideful to achieve something, and then stand back and admire your work? I think the answer is "NO!"................Unfortunately, I also think the answer is "YES!"
In Daniel 4:30-33, King Nebuchadnezzar walked into his palace and said, "Is this not The Great Babylon that I have built by my vast power to be a royal residence and to display my majestic glory?"
Although the line may be fine between being prideful and celebrating a victory, the king went well beyond the fine line. He took full credit for things achieved through him by God. He took credit not for the work, but for the power and the glory.
I haven't built any kingdoms lately, but I have had plenty of opportunities to take credit for things that God has made possible. How hollow it feels when I fail to give credit where it belongs.

Low Blow #2 for Today

From Zechariah 7:5, "When you fasted and mourned in the 5th and 7th month, even those seventy years, did ye at all fast unto me, even to me?"

As you are running around doing your church activities, meetings, ceremonies and rituals; as you get up to speak; as you get up to sing; as you give your offering; even as you are dressing in preparation to attend..........who are you doing it for? Don't ask me the same question...... I'd often be too embarrassed to tell you.

Habbakuk Serves a Low Blow

A few weeks ago, I was feeling particularly down...everything in my life seemed fouled up: go to work (problems), go home (problems), turn on the computer (problems), look at bank statement (problems), turn on TV (problems), start the car (problems), look in the mirror (problems)... you get the idea.....wah wah wah.

In the morning, I was reading Habakkuk 3.

And he was talking about how awful things were gonna get for Judah... you split the earth; mountains writhed; decay crept into my bones; my legs trembled; I wait for the day of calamity to come on the nation invading us; fig tree does not bud; olive crop fails; fields produce no food; no sheep in the pen; no cattle in the stall.........things are looking bleaker and bleaker

and I was right there in it and thinking, "Oh Great! How sucky is my life that even when I'm trying to refresh myself by reading the Bible, I'm having to read about more cruddy things." And as I read, I got more disgusted and more hateful and.....and then....I read verse 18.

"And yet I will REJOICE in the Lord, and be JOYFUL in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my STRENGTH....He enables me to go on..."

I don't know how that hits you, but it hit me right in the gut; kind of the way Job Chapter 1 did. This life is a gift; you only have so long to enjoy it, and if you waste most of it seeking useless treasures, you're a fool. I report this with much authority....I am the captain of all fools at times.