Love and Death

One thing that I've come to learn over the past 15 years is that who I used to think that I was is no longer completely true...and who I currently think that I am will likely change in the future, too. Let me try to explain without boring you with the metaphysics of my tiny pea brain. Over the past couple of decades, I have done things that I said I would "never" do, and I failed to do things that I always thought that I would or should.
That brings me now to the topic of Love and Death. Throughout my adult life, I have had very little fear or worry about death. Like I do with so many other aspects of my life, I held death as just an inevitable truth. "I don't have any control over it....why worry about it..." kind of attitude. Well, recently I had noticed a chink in my "why worry about it" armor. And, today as I was driving home from work, I passed a cemetery and experienced a physical and emotional response to seeing a grave being dug. My brain shouted out to the cemetery something like "Stay away from us!"
My response surprised me. But it didn't take me long to figure it out. I have never loved anything or anyone the way that I love my family. I want to protect them from everything. I don't want them to experience the pain of seeing someone they love die, and I don't want any of them to die (obviously). I know that this isn't realistic, but I'm not choosing to feel this way or think this way. This change in my philosophy wasn't by choice. I hate it; it's foreign to me; and I don't know what to do with these feelings of vulnerability.
So, I looked up death in the Bible, and the first thing I came to was 1 Cor 15:55 "Where Oh Death is thy victory; Oh where Death is thy sting?" That wasn't comforting to me......
But, then I read the entire chapter..... Paul discusses the resurrection of Christ. There are several passages that struck me, but the one that I read over and over...."And as for us, why do we endanger ourselves every hour? I die every day—I mean that, brothers—just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus for merely human reasons, what have I gained? If the dead are not raised, "Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die." Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame."
I was shamed somewhat by this, but more than that I was put back on point. "I die every day as surely as I glory over you.." What I read throughout chapter 15 of 1 Corinthians was "Yeah, this life is painful and sorrowful...there is no shelter from the deaths of this life. Don't wilt because of it. Make sure the ones you love know not just the harsh realities of this life, but also know the Message of our Resurrected Savior. Don't focus on sheltering; focus on empowering them to face this world's pain through the power of the Truth."