The Sandlot

In the 1993 movie, The Sandlot, two boys face off in a classic shouting match in which they exchange wicked barbs aimed at each other. My kids' favorite insult is, "You bob for apples in the toilet, and like it!" The final zinger is, "You play baseball like a girl!!!!" All the other kids looking on are stunned at the statement.
Yesterday, while reading in Matthew 23, I couldn't help but think of this scene as I read Jesus' shellacking of the scribes and Pharisees. The following is a condensed version hitting some of the highlights, but the entire chapter is full of vicious humor. It was particularly vicious because it rang true.
"They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are. Blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Therefore I am sending you prophets and wise men and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. "
My favorite was the reference to "whitewashed tombs", beautiful on the outside but full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. I plan to refer to this one if I ever get into a shouting match with someone. Just joking ( I think).

What Have You Done For Me Lately?

If you haven't checked out http://www.nakedpastor.com/, you have missed out on an extremely humble and insightful slap in the face. The author, David Haywood, submitted a masterpiece today.

Once again, his site is one of those places that if you are offended, you probably needed to be.

Annoying Little Sin

Have you been beating yourself over the head with a favorite sin lately.....

Modern Day Pharisees and Sadducees?

I've been reading Matthew lately and have really enjoyed Jesus' sense of humor in answering his disciples and the Pharisees and Sadducees. The below section of scripture is from Matt 15:1-20. I have read these passages about 5 times over the past 2 days because it really strikes me as being great humor mixed in with deadly truth. Additionally, the scenario is so very pertinent to our world today. In speaking with multiple young lost folks lately, a common pattern of concern was voiced from each... "I have a hard time accepting belief in something in which its believers say how much they love Jesus and then wag their fingers at my appearance. All the while, they are demonstrating a life that possesses none of the loving qualities that Jesus taught."

Then the scribes and Pharisees who were from Jerusalem came to Jesus, saying, “Why do Your disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread.”
He answered and said to them, “Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition? For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’ But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God”— then he need not honor his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:
‘ These people draw near to Me with their mouth,
And honor Me with their lips,
But their heart is far from Me.
And in vain they worship Me,
Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”
When He had called the multitude to Himself, He said to them, “Hear and understand: Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”
Then His disciples came and said to Him, “Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?”
But He answered and said, “Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch.”
Then Peter answered and said to Him, “Explain this parable to us.”
So Jesus said, “Are you also still without understanding? Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.”

How about you? Are you more concerned about the external issues (that will ultimately be "eliminated"), or are you more concerned about what is proceeding from the heart? Apparently, there are plenty of modern day Pharisees and Sadducees.

Naked Pastor

That's a title that will grab your attention. That is the title of a blog created by David Hayward, who describes himself as a pastor trapped in an artist's body. His art and his blog posts are usually very pointed, insightful and disturbing. But, by disturbing, I mean creating turbulence much like a swimming pool cleaner creates turbulence within the water to get the muck moving towards the filter. In our nation, stagnation seems to occur rapidly and having a little disturbance now and again may be what the doctor ordered.
Take a look at his blog and take a look at his postings on Flickr. Here are a couple of my favorites....
The first time that I saw a few of his cartoons, I thought for sure he was some non-believer slamming Christians. As it turns out, he's a pastor slamming Christians who profess Jesus with their mouths, but deny them with their lives............ I'm alright with that; I need slammed on occasion apparently.
So, I warn you. If you are easily offended, you will be offended. But, if you are offended, chances are there is a good reason why you were offended, and you may want to spend some quiet time reflecting on your relationship with Christ.

Hillbilly Bible

If you appreciate well thought out testimony and well thought out humor, you may want to take a look a this site: The Hillbilly Bible
The author says, "Aint making fun of the Bible; making the Bible fun." Here is a sample:
The Hillbilly Bible is a creative renderin' a the Gospel a John. The original author a this story is God. It come through John and then ole Stevie Rey rendered it into "Hillbilly" speak in the summer a 2007.
"Their religion is a joke, 'cause it ain't nuthin' but a bunch a man-made rules." (Matthew 15:9, The Hillbilly Bible)
"Hey y'all, let me tell ya somethin' wonderful that the good Lord has done whispered in my ear. We ain't all a gonna die, but we's all gonna be changed. It's gonna happen quicker'n you can blink your eye, when they commence to tootin' on that last trumpet." (1 Corinthians 15:51-52, The Hillbilly Bible)
"Fer the good Lord commenced to hankerin' after the world something fierce, and up and gave His only boy so's whoever took a notion to believe in 'eem ort not die, but just keep on livin' with 'eem in heaven forever n' ever." (John 3:16, The Hillbilly Bible)

Make sure to check out his blog, that is my favorite part.

Better to Marry Than to Burn

I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. I Cor 7:8-9 KJV

Last night I spoke on the phone with a family member from Texas, and we discussed how needy we both have been capable of being at times in our lives when we did not have a significant other in our lives. I found it ironic that in my scripture reading today I came across the above passage. Paul had a brutal sense of humor. In essence he says, "By all means, if you want to truly serve the Lord, stay away from relationships with the opposite sex, and spend all your energies serving. However, I know most of you are pathetic and cannot handle that; so, do yourselves a favor... admit your pathetic and get married. At least you won't be spending all your time lusting and wanting and not having."

The Many Faces of Biblical Humor

I have come across a book that seems to have captured some of the funniest items in the Bible.

The Many Faces of Biblical Humor examines how the Bible writers intentionally used humor, irony, and sarcasm to argue their points concisely. This work begins with the dysfunctional families of Genesis, continues delightfully through every book of the Bible, and ends with a glorious fulfillment in Revelation. Along the way, the reader is presented humorous stories, pathetically funny characters, and poignant quips and quotes from prophets, poets, and principals. The author paraphrases each biblical text in an engaging prose that highlights the humor of that passage – humor that may not have been previously noted by the reader. Between the paraphrases, the author sets the historical and linguistic setting, allowing the reader to see how the humor (and puns) of the text enrich the biblical understanding of God's message. Also included are applications of these marvelous passages to our daily lives as we see our own foibles portrayed in the biblical characters. In many ways, this is a Bible commentary with an accent on the humorous. In another sense, it is simply a delightful book that makes the Bible come alive through the latent humor of its characters and their stories.

Here is list of the authors favorite Biblical one-liners.

Biblical Humor

I love finding humor in the Bible, especially some of Jesus' exchanges with the Pharisee's (for example, "Why are you so concerned about the speck in your brother's eye when you have a plank in your own?"), and Jer 5:13 referring to some self professed prophets as speaking wind (flatulence) instead of words.
Here is a link to a page that explores Biblical humor in an in depth way: Biblical Humor.
It is not the easiest reading, but if you sift through it a bit, you will find some gems. Here are some examples:
Puns/wordplay – the naming of people throughout Genesis, such as Jacob and Esau (25:25–26); Jeremiah 5:13 plays on ruah , ‘word', ‘wind' (with implications of flatulence) in the mouths of false prophets.
Ambiguity – Haman is led up the garden path (Esther 6).
Sarcasm – Paul's anger at the Judaizers (Galatians 5:12).
Scatological references – Eglon's servants thinking he was relieving himself (Judges 3).
Mention of the taboo – sex and prostitution (Ezekiel 16:33); priests and prophets vomiting drunkenly (Isaiah 28:7–8).
Misfortune of others – Balaam humiliated by his donkey (Numbers 22); the Philistines' god Dagon flat on his face and the people covered in tumours (1 Samuel 5).
Absurdities/the ridiculousness of others – Abraham and son repeating old and increasingly silly errors (Genesis 12, 20, 25); arrogance of the builders in Genesis 11; bizarre and repetitive episodes in Samson's career (Judges 13–16).
The grotesque – Eglon's fat belly swallowing up Ehud's blade; Nebuchadnezzar reduced to an animal (Daniel 4).
Things unexpected, out of place or incongruous – a camel through the eye of a needle (Matthew 19:23–24); stagey bargaining in front of Sarah's corpse (Genesis 23); the Lord 's mockery of creatures asserting their superiority to their creator (Isaiah 10:15).
Irony – Jesus' teaching throughout the gospels; Philip's comment that nothing good comes out of Nazareth (John 1:46); Caiaphas noting that it is better for one man to die for the people (John 11:50).
Satire – against the king of Babylon in Isaiah 14; but also through Jeremiah and most Minor Prophets.
Parody/lampoon – the Lord 's mimicking of Pharaoh (Ezekiel 29:3–5); the Lord 's taunt to priests and prophets (Isaiah 28:9–10); Israel's priests are dogs calling for beer (Isaiah 56:9–12).

Get Service

If you've never been to SermonSpice.com, it is worth the visit. It is a for profit site that sales video clips that can be used in church services or at Bible study type events. There are a bunch of Mother's Day items available right now; some that are sappy and sentimental, and some that are just funny or thought provoking.

I have a bunch of favorites:
MeChurch - depicts a church that tries to bend over backwards to meet everyones needs.
Evangelism Linebacker-linebacker goes around tackling people who are not sharing their faith.
It's All About Me - worship singer sings selfish praise songs to himself.

Tonight, I found one that was profound. It has some Matrix or 6th Sense qualities to it. It is called Get Service, and it makes you wonder how different your response to the world would be if you really understood the needs of others.

ApologetiX song video

I found a video made to the Bethlehemian Rhapsody. Very funny. Watch the whole thing including the credits.
god-wins-every-battle

ApologetiX

Anyone who loves the sound of secular music (but not necessarily the message), has a sense of humor, loves new ways of learning scriptural truths, and has found at least one of Weird Al's songs entertaining MUST check out this site and this band.
ApologetiX - parody band
I have heard two of their songs on XM-radio, "We're a parody band" (sung to the tune of Grand Funk Railroad's "We're an American band") and "Meshach" (sung to the tune of "Love Shack" by the B-52's). Both songs were very well done musically and lyrically. Both contained scriptural references. They were humorous but not overly edgy or offensive or disrespectful to The Word.
I have not heard but have seen the lyrics to their version of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody."Their version is "Bethlehemian Rhapsody" and tells the story of David and Goliath in rock-operatic fashion. Hilarious lyrics. I look forward to hearing it.

Winter Easter Wonderland

Easter Egg Hunt 2007 occurred today at GFBC during a virtual blizzard. There were approximately 25 kids in attendance. We had all pretty much decided that it was too cold to hide the eggs outside, and had elected to hide them inside and just make the best of it. Well, while the kids were eating hotdogs, the sun came out and the wind calmed down. It was actually quite pleasant outside if wearing a jacket. So......... we decided to move the festivities outside and proceeded to scramble outside to hide eggs. After we had "hid" about 80% of the nearly one billion eggs that we had, the sun disappeared, the wind picked up to hurricane strength, the temperature dropped to seemingly -30 degrees and it began to snow your typical April blizzard quantities of snow. I say "hid" because we basically littered the ground with them all.
So, as you may guess, we were faced with a moral, ethical and potentially legal dilemma: Do we send our children out into the blizzard conditions to collect all types of candy and noise making, choking-hazard type toys that no parent would want to give a child? Or do we chalk it up as just one of those humorous twists in God's grand plan for our lives, keep our beloved children in the warm safety of the church facilities? Needless to say...........we then decided that since we had desecrated the church grounds with plastic orbs, that we may as well clean up our mess, and we couldn't possibly find anyone more willing or energetic about cleaning up such a mess as a bunch of 2-12 year old children who conveniently had presented to the occasion equipped with baskets that were ideal for the retrieval of such items. You bet!!!! We bundled them all up, pushed them out the door and sent them out in pursuit of the plastic treasures.
Granted, I am from South Texas, but it was a very surreal experience watching an Easter egg hunt during a winter weather advisory. I am pleased to announce that the kids absolutely had a ball. They were cackling with laughter as they scrambled around through the snow drifts. When it was all said and done, you just had to smile with a satisfied feeling that you have created some amazing memories for a bunch of kids. So, a few of them lost a finger or two to frost bite, but that just gives them another way to cherish the event that was Easter Egg Hunt GFBC 2007!
By the way, I have disposed of all photos and video of the event due to fears of social services interventions.

The Church You Know

I have recently discovered a website created by two guys who say they want to "see the body of Christ (i.e., the Church) transformed into a greater likeness of Christ. We love the Church. We are a part of the Church – not above it, not outside of it. All followers of Christ are on this journey together – a journey that starts with Christ, and remains in Him eternally."
At their website are multiple short video clips that remind you of a public service announcement. The clips are humorous, but also are quite thought provoking. The message of the clips appears to be less about humor, and more about making the point that to be in a relationship with Christ requires some effort on your own part. This could be said in regards to any type of relationship, I suppose.
Again, the clips are humorous and thought-provoking; however, they are definitely not for everybody. Some people will watch them and get their shins bruised. Some people will watch them and feel that certain clips are overly silly for such a serious topic. And some people will watch them and feel that they are being out right disrespectful.
I could see all three of these different peoples viewpoints as having merit. However, the value that I see that these guys' ministry provides is a fresh perspective. These two guys are church going guys who love and serve God. They are stepping outside of their Christian shoes for a moment and are asking, "Are we being relevant? What is the unchurched world seeing when they see us? Are we being Christ-like, or are we being driven by tradition or the desire to please self."
Although you and I may not agree with their type of humor, if we truly want to reach the people that we are not reaching, then we may want to ask got to radically examine us, and to reveal to us the ways in which he wants us to serve Him.

Take a look at www.thechurchyouknow.com and let me know what you think.